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Pregame Dick greets the fans and Colonel tells Dick to stop talking because it's distracting him from writing his own auto-biograghy. Dick is pretty surprised. Mugsy Thumbscrew is introduced and Dick says that he wouldn't want to be in the ring with him and Colonel makes fun of Mugsy saying that he can't even write his own book and can't even spell Awesome. Ouch is then introduced and Dick says that despite being all bruised up,he still has a heart of gold and Colonel says that he can crush Ouch easily and that it also says so in Colonel's book. In Round One, Mugsy tells Ouch that he doesn't even like the looks of him and punches him repeaditily. Ouch tells him to pin him already. Post Round One Dick says that Ouch is barely putting up a fight. Colonel tells Dick that Ouch couldn't read his biograghy because puny fingers that can't crush at all. In Round Two, Mugsy's goons tell him if he ends any help and Mugsy says he's got this one. He then shows Ouch his homemade cheeseburger and slams it in his face. Then Mugsy shows Ouch his homemade Fish N Chips and slams it in his face. Post Round Two Dick says that how can the Dexteras win this match if Ouch is always on the ropes. Colonel says that Ouch can barely crush anyone while he can crush anything and write books at the same time. In Round Three, Ouch uses the Spinecrack Backbreak Surprise but ends up breaking his back in the process. It looks like Mugsy is about to claim the win when Colonel says he has had enough and how on earth can he write his bio if he doesn't have no peace and quiet. Colonel then leaves, pushes a blue button and a GIGANTIC HUGE Safe falls onto Mugsy and burries him, leaving Ouch the winner and thus ending the match. Post Round Three Dick is actually is really surprised that Ouch won the match and Colonel reappears,scaring Dick a little. Colonel says he has finished his book and shows the cover to the audience. The book's title is revealed to be I AM BETTER THAN PUNY DICK THOMPSON. Dick turns to the camera and says Oh,Dear.